2016 has been such a year, of moments and memories, both
good and bad. As I've come to the end of this year, I just want to lay back and
contemplate whatever happened and hopefully, I'll be able to let it all
go.
Just a year ago, things were so different. It's still hard
for me to believe what changes a year can bring. Oh, how much of a naïve young
lady I was. I remember how I always wanted to go with the flow but at the same
time, was always afraid of what the future had to bring. If I were to go back
to 2016, I wouldn’t say I won't change anything. Well, I actually have mixed
feelings about that. I don't know if I should regret all of the decisions that
I took in the past year but the thought that they have actually been turning
points for me and that, the decisions I took has led to the person I've become
today hits me right in the feels.
I've struggled with trying to fit in, maintaining
relationships and having to please people. I put my effort and energy not where
it was needed. I've made countless mistakes this year. I've been hurt and I've
hurt so many people and have let them down to the point that they actually stop
trusting anyone, anymore. I've spent sleepless nights feeling like a bomb
waiting to explode. I'd actually forgotten what self-love was supposed to feel
like because of the guilt that used to swarm up my spine every day and night.
I've changed and I like the fact that I've changed. I
should rather say I've grown, grown as a person. I didn't really know life was
supposed to feel like this and now, I realize in how much of a small circle I'd
drawn myself to. Things have changed so much and I've learned to accept that. I
have forgiven myself for all the mistakes I committed, for all the hurt, and
the rage. I've also come to this point of realization that it doesn't really
matter for how long you've met a person. All that matters is that you genuinely
care for each other and that's what makes all the difference.
I'll forever be grateful to you, 2016. It was not only
tears and regrets this year. It was more. It was life-long lessons and
experiences. Looking at the brighter
side, it was also joy, waves of laughter and so many priceless memories. I traveled to
so many places and the best part about that was meeting new people and sharing
experiences. I tried so many new things.
I laughed, I danced, I performed, I achieved, I learned to play a new instrument,
at least a little bit and little did I know I was becoming a better person, day
by day. I am so thankful that I found people
with whom I can connect and who look at the world the same way I do. Life's a
lot more joyous with them now.
Well, 2017, I welcome you with open arms. I promise to strive
for more. To stay hydrated, to let optimism take over, to actually study and
hustle harder, and to devote time and energy in the right place. I am not going
to let the opinions of other people affect me because hey, there's always going
to be people who judge you for who you are or what you do to what you wear or just
everything but it doesn't even matter in the long run. I am going to let myself
embrace the days when I feel low because maybe, that's what life is all about;
just like a roller coaster with the highs and lows. I am going to try different
things this coming year and get out of my comfort zone, feel afraid and alive. And
I also promise to be kind to people and help them in the best way possible. So
excited to embark on this new adventure.
-Manashi Shrestha
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